Thrift Store Dating

Many of you are older married fuckers. You got married when telephones were connected to wall jacks and gas was 87¢ a gallon. You did not have to deal with the nightmare of modern dating an in particular: Online dating sites. I swear to skinny jean Jesus that my experience is just like sifting through used dinner jackets at the local church thrift store. I may find something that looks decent but there is always something wrong with what I find, and I forever get the sense that if only I could afford to shop retail, I’d fare far better.


Dating is expensive. Dinner and a movie will run me maybe $120 bucks. This would be fine if I was taking my girlfriend out but I don’t have a girlfriend. All I have are 30-50 year old women who are looking for a free meal and to be treated like a princess for an evening. That shit adds up. For example, 5 dates in a month and I’m already in luxury car payment territory. For all my expenditures I still am home surfing porn at 1am on a typical Saturday night as opposed to being inside the chunky woman who I spent an AT&T cell phone payment on earlier that evening. I always suspect a woman is just using me for a free meal when she repeatedly says “Thank you” during the date. I know women have it hard in some ways when it comes to dating, and it must be nice when a guy takes them out and shows them a good time. To be honest though, I don’t give a fuck about being a nice guy. I want results and 600 bucks a month on dates with no ROI is not a maintainable situation.


Online dating is meant to find relationships for women and not men. If you see the commercials, the main marketing push is towards women. So marketing, combined with the natural interrelation between the sexes, results in a typical attractive female receiving hundreds of overtures per week in her inbox, while an equally attractive male will maybe get three messages per week. This disparity is magnified by the dating conduct of modern women. There is a zero tolerance policy pervasive on these dating sites. A prospective man is not allowed to have any discernible weaknesses or flaws. If he does then he is easily replaced by another potential suitor. There is no “trying on outfits” at the thrift store. All they do is rifle through the for-sale rack, looking for the perfect deal.


I could go on but nah…..fuck it. I’ll write more about this later. These are my micro-struggles. Enjoy your day…


5 thoughts on “Thrift Store Dating

  1. I’ll be 50 next birthday. Last July I married a woman I met on an online dating site. The online dating process wasn’t much fun, frankly. But I’ve been around enough to sniff out a princess form 100 miles, so the dates I went on didn’t break my bank. And in the end online dating worked for me, so there’s that.


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